• Ashley Tilson

Why Trauma Healing is Important

I was recently asked to do an interview for Brainz Magazine and in doing so, I had to reflect on - to answer the question of - why I do what I do and what inspired me to do this. Unlike most "Mom & Pop type" businesses, it wasn't about seeing a local need that needed to be fulfilled, or buying a property because the dream was to open & run a storefront location. Yet like many businesses, it is an extension of my life that was created based on my own personal experiences and passions, and upon realizing that I found my own gift that I know needs to be shared with the world. But in order to understand that, you'll need to understand my story...

The truth is that ever since I decided to switch to my niche, I've slowly begun to notice a few others follow suit. I don't doubt they have their reasons for doing so, and there is mutual respect for others that come into this work for the same reasons I have, so I'd be lying if I said that I haven't wondered why others decide to do this work. This experience is something that cannot be replicated or imitated. The very facts that I wouldn't wish my lived experience on even my worst enemy, and that I only strive to lead by using my own story as an example is what makes my process unique.

I remember a time when I was in such a dark place that I honestly wondered why I should continue living. I remember the struggle of years of therapy and medication that did nothing for me because the root causes couldn't be identified and addressed. Even years before I finally felt comfortable being truthful about my secrets, I had a psychiatrist write in my file (which I have a copy of; the only reason I know this) that I would dissociate during our talks. I would literally be there, but not at the same time, because I didn't know what to say. Because I didn't feel safe to reveal the nitty-gritty facts of my traumatic childhood, they became the secrets I buried deep down inside and tried so damn hard to forget.

The reality is that people like us go into our adult lives working so hard to just move on, but not even realizing that our past is a dark veil over us. The longer we ignore and deny it, the harder it hits us later on. I remember becoming sour - having learned narcissistic behaviour at home, in my family - and started blaming the world for everything that I didn't have and couldn't achieve. I would work myself to the bone, get promoted in my jobs, and even paved a career path that typically requires a college education (which I didn't have), all to end up spiraling into a mental breakdown... all because of everything I was sweeping under the rug. I didn't even realize that I had PTSD and that my triggers were the reasons why I couldn't keep healthy relationships, a healthy mindset, healthy habits, and stick to any of my career choices. To say that I realized I was completely lost and unhappy with my life is a given, and an understatement.

I don't share these facts to dwell on, but rather to highlight the struggles that led me into the work that I do. Because only once I hit my rock bottom, got angry, and began to believe that it was my last chance to turn my life around for the better, did I actually get started on the path that turned me into the person I am today. It didn't happen overnight, and it took some serious determination to get through it all, but it was achievable! I used to think it was completely impossible, and I honestly almost gave up a few times when it felt too hard, but by pushing forward - focused on having a better life where I was no longer triggered, had a life that I thought I could only dream about, and achieve personal happiness, purpose, and fulfillment - was I able to find it.

To say that this work completely changed my life is a fact...

but one that doesn't fully describe how much it actually did!

So to answer the interview question, I summarized how my own story of achieving the impossible is the inspiration for why I do what I do. Whenever I look to boost my own inspiration on my vision, I remind myself of the comparison of who I was before to who I am now - and how I can no longer recognize the person that I used to be. And because it's all about my life's story, this business has become a huge part of my life; and one that I wouldn't give up for anything. This is why I became so passionate and forthright about why Trauma Healing is so important -- because without addressing the trauma (no matter how small or seemingly insignificant), none of this would've been possible. Long gone are the beliefs that I'm too old, it's too late, or that I didn't have trauma... because the reality is that every false belief that held me back as an adult had a root in trauma. Many adults don't see this because they haven't yet come into the dissection needed to figure it out, but even elderly clients do this and realize that something from their childhood became a thought that they still struggle with.

This is why I'm so gung-ho about doing it even if you don't have abuse that you can recall. The first 14-21 years of our lives are so important because we LEARN based on our surroundings, and it ends up dictating the rest of our lives. That's why just one small, albeit hurtful, statement is so impactful that we remember it for the rest of our days and it influences how we feel about ourselves. And you really want to tell me that's not traumatic in any way? (Just some food for thought for you)

If you're ready to learn more about how to begin to heal your past by reconnecting with your childhood self, rewriting your mindset, and embarking on your new, empowered self, be sure to take part in my FREE 4-PART WEBINAR SERIES - which serves as the series of introductory workshops on the key components of my Trauma Recovery Program, The Rise of the Phoenixes!